Guest Post By Jackie Yun @JackieYunTweets
Photo courtesy of www.FreeStockPhotos.biz via Benjamin Miller
“Jackie will have a full report and recommendation for a financial and accounting system on your desk in 2 weeks”.
That was the confident voice of my boss’ boss. I had no such confidence. I had no clue how to start, what to do. I was just a programmer, not a senior business analyst, not a manager. I had no background in finance or accounting, unless a couple of classes in college counted. I was just a few years into my professional life. Back then, there wasn’t much on the Internet, nor was Internet access easy.
Shaky, sweaty and hunched down. I felt overwhelmed. While there was no Staples® Easy Button™ to push to meet this or any challenge, I did discover that there are things I could do to get over the overwhelm.
Make Your Environment Work For You > Not Against You.
When my boss came to my cubicle to find out about the meeting, I was so stressed that I burst into tears. With a comforting hand on my shoulder, he sent me home.
His actions were precisely what was needed. In her book, The Power of Place, Winifred Gallagher tells us that “our environments are not just backdrops to our lives — they affect how we think, feel and act”. She cites Roger Barker, founder of environmental psychology, who further clarifies: “once the environmental particulars of a modus operandi work their way into our nervous system, they help close our minds to better options and incline us toward knee-jerk reactions.”
In other words, when you’re overwhelmed, just getting out of your current surroundings, where the negative triggers are located, can change your perspective.
Going home isn’t always an option. Instead, go to a nearby coffee shop or book store, take a stroll in the park, or even go down to the cafeteria and grab a snack. If you can’t go somewhere, use the Internet to your advantage and let great photography take you away from those negative triggers for a few minutes. I love the sunrise pictures Leia Cator (@mscator) tweets.
Your Body Speaks. Help Your Body Say the Right Thing.
Christine Caldwell writes: “I feel the presence of fight/flee/freeze somewhere in my musculature and physiology. When I isolate, I also feel my defenses. In fact, that is all I feel.” ~ from her book, Getting Our Bodies Back.
When you’re overwhelmed your body feels it and it screams that to yourself and all who see you. How can we move our body from feeling overwhelmed to one that says it is open and ready for the challenge; not contracted, small or ill? Use your body’s 5 senses. Engage in yoga to re-gain flexibility, taste the warmth in a cup of tea to give you resilience, breathe in the fragrance of lavender or rosemary to give you calm or fortitude, or listen and watch Rocky Balboa in his “Gonna Fly Now” scene for the “I Can Do It” stance and feeling. Why not even get up and do that scene with Rocky?
This tweet from Tony Richards (@tonyrichards4) is a clever way of remembering the impact our body’s actions have on our psyche:
║ *Behavior wags the tail of feelings.*
Stop Your Mind From Reaching The Red Zone.
The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan, tells owners to make early corrections for their recalcitrant dogs. Past a certain point, the dog won’t heed anything you say or do, his mind is in the Red Zone. Humans can be like that, too.
Before your mind reaches “The Red Zone of Overwhelm” try settling into meditation (something that leaders should have in their toolkit as evidenced in the HBR Post, The Power of Pause, shared by Rick Ross, @RickRoss10), read poetry and find balance (Terry Del Percio, @WorkIntegrity, tweeted an NPR piece describing how poetry gives peace to the author’s life), or playfully use prompts such as @AnitaBondi’s Interplay Inspiration Deck to gain a different perspective on the situation (and no, I’m not an affiliate, but I am an Anita Bondi fan!). If overwhelm has not completely hijacked your amygdala, try to engage logic. Break down the challenge into smaller pieces to see where this takes you.
Reach Out – Your Relationships Can Help.
If you’re in overwhelm, your focus is narrowly centered on yourself; not surprising, given what your body and mind are doing. Instead of looking inward, look outward. Look to connect with your network of support. Your network of support are the positive people who have your best interest at heart, who will uplift you and help move you forward. Your network can be comprised of friends, relatives, mentors, coaches, colleagues or even kind strangers! My boss and my husband each gave me learnings that I’ve kept with me throughout my career with good impact:
- • Even though time is of the essence for almost every project, there is time to stop to recalibrate. Make sure you take that time.
- • Figure out what you can do, then humbly without apology make your offer, their decision is not a reflection of you ~ and remember, you don’t have anything to prove.
Use The 4 Quadrants To Give You The Answers
James Flaherty, founder of New Ventures West (my professional coaching alma mater) introduced the concept of the 4 Quadrants as a way to evaluate a snapshot of a coachee’s integral state. It’s a very revealing model when you look at someone from the perspective of their 4 quadrants: environment, body and behavior, individual consciousness (what I’ve been calling the mind), and relationships. As we’ve seen, it is also a framework to help you get unstuck, such as when you are in overwhelm.
If you’re stuck, take the time to analyze each of these quadrants, see if you are out of balance, and then do work within those quadrants. Soon, you will be liberated and be open to the possibilities!
To Will and all you followers of Will’s blog, much gratitude to you for including me in your day’s reading. I’d love to hear from you about how you’ve gotten over overwhelm or become unstuck. Do you use a special framework like the 4 Quadrants? Do you think the 4 Quadrants would be helpful to you? Please share your feedback in the comments below. We can learn much from each other.
Jackie Yun is an Integral Coach ® and Former IT Executive. For more information about Jackie, follow her at @JackieYunTweets