In recent weeks, I noticed a trend that bothered me. I’m not sure why I did not notice this in the past. It is not like this is a new phenomenon. It made me wonder what is going on; why am I noticing this more and more? Is this because of awareness? Have things really changed around me? I’m not sure I know the answer, hence the reason for this post.

Why do we fail to see the good in others?   When someone new joins a group, there is a tendency for existing people to find things that they can complain about. I’m not sure why they can only see the fault in the new person.   They missed the opportunity to see the value that this person brings.   Why do we spend all our energy critiquing this person? What is the purpose of taking the person down?   What is the benefit of channeling our energy and spending it toiling in negative emotion? A lot of energy is spent on unproductive things.

Take for example: we replaced someone with someone new. Ideally we need to give this person a chance to prove themselves, that they can get the job done. Instead of complaining that the new person is not strong or firm, we need to consider whether we have an upgrade from our original situation. Are we better off now than we were a few months ago? If the answer is yes, then work with the person to achieve your desired results.   It makes no sense for me to see people finding the fault in others, because it does not help the community or organization. Besides, are we that perfect that we think others should be perfect too.   It is a bit hypocritical of us to think that we are above everyone else.

When we focus our energy on negative actions, it is draining our energy and nothing good can come out of it. Whereas when we channel our energy on seeking the good in others, it can help us see opportunities that we otherwise don’t see because we stayed positive. It also can help us build a lasting relationship. As I wrote this post, Audrey Hepburn’s quote, “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others, for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness, and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” comes to mind. We can only see good in others when we’re intentional about seeking the good in others.

The next time you see people complaining about someone, encourage them to see the good in others. If the person has done very bad deeds, then that is a different story. Otherwise, try to see the good in others and you will notice that your mood will be uplifted. It takes more energy to be mad and upset, but it better be worth it when you’re upset and mad. Remember that you have the choice.   When you’re upset, the person you’re upset with is not upset, so why bother stressing yourself out?

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